New generations of parents view 'gentle parenting' as an enlightened, liberal approach, focused on child autonomy. But it may not provide the freedom that it claims to. Its demands often result in burnt-out parents, and despite its gender-neutral language, the burden falls overwhelmingly on mothers. Gentle parenting is repackaged attachment theory, and we should learn from earlier feminist critiques to understand how superficially progressive ideas can reinforce traditional gender roles in practice.

Gentle parenting is the millennial gold standard for child-rearing. The gentle parent is empathetic, validating their child's feelings and viewing them as an autonomous individual whose thoughts and needs deserve adult-level respect. Instead of using rewards and punishment, they teach and problem-solve collaboratively with their child.

Gentle parenting developed within the lineage of attachment parenting, characterised by high parental responsiveness. Its pitch is all about autonomy: by being led by your child and meeting their needs, you help them become a more genuine and confident person.

___

Gentle parenting is seen as the progressive option, but it can create distinctly traditional dynamics in the home.

___

But its advocates often overlook the trade-off: your interests as a parent will be subordinated to your child, and therefore to the home. The claims of gentle parenting are underpinned by theories that rose to popularity in the post-war era and cast women's workforce participation in a sinister light. Second-wave feminists identified these accounts of mothering as reactionary ideas that created guilt for women who wanted lives outside the home. Today, gentle parenting is seen as the progressive option, but it can create distinctly traditional dynamics in the home.