Why Sexual Morality Doesn't Exist

We must get rid of ideas of what sex should be

There is no such thing as sexual morality per se. Put less dramatically, there is no morality special to sex: no act is wrong simply because of its sexual nature. Sexual morality consists in moral considerations that are relevant elsewhere as well being applied to sexual activity or relations. This is because the proper concept of sexual activity is morally neutral. Sexual activity is that which fulfills sexual desire.  Sexual desire in its primary sense can be defined as desire for physical contact with another person’s body and for the pleasure that such contact brings. Masturbation or desire to view pornography are sexual activity and desire in a secondary sense, substitutes for normal sexual desire in its primary sense. Sex itself is not a moral category, although it places us in relations in which moral considerations apply. It gives us opportunity to do what is otherwise regarded as wrong: to harm, deceive, or manipulate others against their will. 

As other philosophers point out, pleasure is normally a byproduct of successfully doing things not aimed at pleasure directly, but this is not the case with sex. Sexual desire aims directly at the pleasure derived from physical contact. Desire for physical contact in other contexts, for example contact sports, is not sexual because it has other motives (winning, exhibiting dominance, etc.), but sexual desire in itself has no other motive. It is not a desire to reproduce or to express love or other emotions, although sexual activity, like other activities, can express various emotions including love.

Continue reading

Enjoy unlimited access to the world's leading thinkers.

Start by exploring our subscription options or joining our mailing list today.

Start Free Trial

Already a subscriber? Log in

Join the conversation

Strength Honor 11 June 2022

featuring the biggest thinkers?

averindas atlass 17 January 2022

Sexuality, including intimacy and sex, is a vital part of human nature. It can also have an impact on our overall health and well-being. It fulfills the feeling of belongingness and connection. However, these untamed feelings can interfere with daily lives and relationships.

Naomi Cohen 20 February 2021

Prof Goldman, I have been debating this in my head for some time. I tend to follow loosely Positivist thinking on Ethics and Reason by working on Win Win situations, I also tend to adhere to Jewish traditional values but use Psychology Journals on balance of the science of human behavior. The function of Orgasm for Women and the release of Oxytocin is an important part of the argument for sex. As you are clearly a man and write like a man whereby Sex and Love are interchangable, seperate or each can derive from one or the other. The Oxytocin Hormone in Women lasts longer after orgasm than it does for a man and other things like Dysphoric crying occurs after sex all are organised to make us bond to and feel good about the person we are having sex with, it naturally increases trust and other human bonding behaviors. The objectification of people in all formats quite literally undermines the infrastructure of trust and possibility of love...I would also think that this then creates loneliness and loneliness creates casual sex. There are much larger ramifications socially and morally than just the pleasure of having sex and to recognize, even within the bounds of pleasure and objectification that people feel, we are emotional beings, all connected up for the most part. The debate presented is limited therefore and perhaps a little flippant as consequence of casual sex for adulterers or singles often leads to unethical behavior.