Romantic love, often celebrated as one of life's greatest treasures, can also be a treacherous terrain fraught with tension and conflict. But why does this paradox persist? Inspired by Nietzsche, philosopher Tom Digby argues that notions of romantic love are entangled with gender binaries, perpetuating cycles of dominance and submission. He contends that dismantling these constructs is essential for fostering healthy, egalitarian relationships.

Romantic love often goes terribly awry, even though it can be one of the greatest sources of joy and fulfillment available to human beings. Our most obvious clue to understanding this quandary about romantic love comes from the historically prevailing notion that it is for heterosexual couples. In fact, it is supposed to be for two persons who represent not just two different sexes, but two opposite sexes. Thus, it should not be surprising that romantic love is often construed as a “battle of the sexes”.

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According to Nietzsche – and he says this explicitly – when a man loves like a woman he becomes a slave, but when a woman loves like a woman she becomes a more perfect woman. He leaves the implicit conclusion hanging right before our eyes: the most perfect woman is a slave.