The dark side of empathy

In recent months, empathy has been trending with millions of hits and views on the topic. Employees are demanding greater empathy to support their wellbeing, and leaders and organizations are responding by seeking to demonstrate cultures of compassion. But empathy comes with some rather significant problems argues sociologist Tracy Brower. When misused or misunderstood it can lead to poor choices, disempowerment, burnout, and arguably could even contribute to terrible phenomena like human trafficking.  

 

It’s important to know the focus on empathy is justified. A study by Catalyst found when leaders are more empathetic, people tended to be more innovative, engaged and likely to stay with their company. In addition, research published in Evolutionary Biology found cooperation increased when empathy was introduced into decision making processes.

And employee wellbeing was also related to empathy, according to a study by Qualtrics. The research found when leaders were perceived as demonstrating more empathy, people reported better mental health and said they could bring themselves more fully to their work.

But with all the positive data about empathy, it also has limitations. We want a society that is fair, objective and just—and for those ends, empathy isn’t the best moral guide. In fact, it can lead to poor decision-making.

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Empathy can also lead to exhaustion or burnout if people identify too greatly with others’ suffering.

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We also want a society in which people are kind and compassionate, who do the right thing and act constructively toward others. And while empathy is related to all of these, it is not the only fuel for these pro-social behaviors. Empathy is a good thing, but it isn’t everything—and it’s important to recognize the pitfalls, problems and unintended consequences that can come with it.

By definition, empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It is imagining what it’s like to be in another’s place and hypothesizing about what they may be thinking (cognitive empathy) or feeling (emotional empathy).

Unfortunately though, people have an easier time identifying with those who are more similar to themselves. Social science demonstrates that proximity is fundamental to relationships, and it has an effect on acceptance. The people you see more frequently and have more exposure to, are those you’ll tend to build stronger relationships with. You’ll tend to accept them more and you’ll have more empathy toward them. In addition, studies on friendship repeatedly demonstrate people have stronger ties with those with whom they share more in common.

All of this means that your empathy is likely to be greater for people you see more often and who are more similar to you. Empathy is subjective and therefore subject to bias. If you use empathy as a guide for decision making—caring about a person or group and using that care to make critical tradeoffs—it can lead to discrimination or a lack of objectivity toward others.

Seek exposure, contact and relationships with all kinds of people—especially those who are different from yourself and from whom you can learn. Ensure you weigh decisions not just based on who you know best, but on those who may also be less familiar to you.

The popularity of empathy has meant that many organizations are encouraging leaders and employees to be more empathetic toward others. When this also translates into a greater focus on people, kindness and compassion, there is little reason for skepticism. 

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Research on begging by children finds when people give money to the children in some countries, they unintentionally contribute toward greater human trafficking,.

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