We all know that sex is vital for a good relationship, and that a good relationship fosters a positive sex life. But is this a mistake? Sex objectifies, while the intimacy of a long lasting relationship can be fundamentally unattractive. It's about time we relearned was love really means, writes Olivia Fane. 

For a hundred years now we have been fed the myth that our ‘sexuality’ is important. Nowadays we use the word with a certain reverence, but on Sunday afternoon, the 20th September, I am going to suggest to you that sex is neither deep, spiritual, nor even particularly interesting.

I am totally aware of the power of sex. The sex drive is certainly real, sometimes overwhelming real. The experience of first having sex with a person you totally desire and who seems, at least, to totally desire you, is surely one of the sweetest we human beings can experience. But have you noticed? That total delight diminishes with time. Supposedly, there is a drug called oxytocin released during the female orgasm which is supposed to bond you, which would mean those happy couples couldn’t help but stay together, and the sex would go on getting better and better. But if oxytocin had been made in a pharmaceutical lab, we would sue the manufacturers for mis-representation. The sex goes off. And why does it go off?